Courting and Teenagers

Well today I am working through my girls "courting". I have so many mixed emotions. And I try not to be double minded. I watch other parents wade their way through these years and I wonder what guidelines and rules we should have. I have seen some parents completely not allow any dating or courting and I have seen some parents be very permissive. I never know what is right. I DO KNOW THIS...EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT WHAT MY GIRLS SHOULD BE DOING...

I am not crazy about this whole boy thing but what parent ever is. I think I believe in arranged marriages. The problem is...my girls don't. I can not imagine why. I am the wiser one. And I would make sure that he was attractive enough to kiss. But God knows the heart of my girls so I will trust them to HIM. God, I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOU ARE WISER THAN ME...

Lord, help us through these years. Give us the wisdom we need and help us to forgive those who judge. Someday they will be in my shoes and help me to love them as they walk through it themselves. Your Grace is sufficient for this day and every day hereafter.

Christmas Lights In a Dark House...

I was reading status updates tonight and saw this post "Christmas Lights in a Dark House bring such peace". I LOVE THAT...There is nothing better than putting up the Christmas Tree and shutting off all the lights at night and just letting the tree light up the room. The manger was a very dark and cold place and God sent Jesus to light and warm that dreary place. He became the Light of the World. Thank you God for Jesus. Help me to remember HIM when I light up the tree each night.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful time of family events...many, many, laughs and memories. I was especially glad to see that all three of my girls had fallen asleep in the same bed after many long hours of talking. I love that they LOVE each other. It was good to see the James Island Christmas lights through a child's eyes again...roasting marshmallows...riding the carousel and the train and watching a little girl tell Santa what she wanted for Christmas. She chatted with him quite awhile and then just before she got off his lap, she hugged him real tight!!! She was so sincere as she chatted with him. I hope she gets all she asked for.

The Christmas Play Anxiety is trying to creep into my senses...I keep pushing it down!!! I want to remember that it ALWAYS comes together no matter what. There are more important things going on during Christmas play practice than whether or not it comes together perfectly...like hugging that little boy whose parents are divorcing and he is torn between homes...like discovering that telescope girl LOVES AND SINGS well and encouraging her to sing with all her heart...like one of the angels giving up her part so someone could be an angel who really wanted to be...like seeing the camel LOVE his two humps...REALLY ISN'T THAT ALL THAT MATTERS???? Really!!! Keep focused Dot!!! Remember that God's plans are not mine plans. Remember to show them the light that shone in the dark, cold place of the manger...

But in fact God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them just has he wanted them to be. If they were all one part where would the body be. As it is, there is many parts, but one body 1 Cor. 12: 18-20


Okay...So here we go. A new post and I am not sure what I will say...But I figure I will type and pray God brings it. I have been thinking lately how much I COULD be doing for God if I did not have a job. I have been frustrated and bored with my work. Don't get me wrong. I am not honestly discontent. If God leaves me there, there is where I will stay. BUT...If God would remember His benched servant, I would be happy to do whatever HE calls me to do. I read on someone's post recently that serving God is so much FUN!! AND IT IS!!!

I have gotten so much joy out of being a small part of HIS GIANT PLANS for the girls in my home and my church. I GET to be a part. I GET to watch kids for them, deliver a meal to them , pray for them, talk to them until late at night, laugh with them and worry for them (secretly, I try not to let them know that I worry...BUT I do). I have had to learn to cast my cares upon God for HE cares for me. His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

I have read the testimonies of so many girls and each time I get a lump in my throat knowing that they have been through SO much. It always makes me sad...those are the times I have to go to God the most. And most of the time, all I can do is cry and sit at HIS feet. Words don't come...Just tears. I know how important it is for these girls to get these awful things out and I always pray God will help me to be strong for them. God is so faithful to let me sit and cry.

BUT...God has brought these girls out of Egypt, and through the valley of shadow of death!!!! AND THEY LOVE HIM!!! And HE has put such BIG DREAMS in their hearts...And BIG GIFTS He wants to use for HIS Kingdom.

Lord, Can I just say I LOVE THAT YOU LET ME BE A PART OF YOUR KINGDOM AND YOUR PLANS!!!! If you asked me to clean toilets, I would do it. And I would smile that you ALLOWED me to. I remember the first time I got to vacuum the sanctuary and I felt so undeserving to even do that menial task...BUT GOD YOU LET ME DO IT. I did not deserve your grace then and I still don't. Thank you for loving me God and never giving up on me. .

In Your Grip of Grace,
Your Benched Servant

Who is the Potter in my life?

Today, I spent time with a difficult family member. Ever spend time with someone that just makes you feel like a complete failure? It is just never good enough? Well that was my morning. God was faithful to me. He just kept cautioning me not to take the bait. Don't let it get under my skin. Don't lash out. Don't defend yourself. Trust Him and Let Him do it. Love unconditionally. Now don't get me wrong. I am FAR from perfect and maybe they have some really valid points. But it feels more like they want to mold me rather than allow God to mold me.

So God here I am once again...And I ask you to be MY Potter and remind me that I am the clay in YOUR hands. I belong to you. I follow your lead. I trust YOU to make me in your image.

What is the purpose of a blog anyway?

So each time I think about what to blog, I think Why? Here are some of my thoughts...

I blog...

Because everyone else does
Because I want to sound wise and important
Because it is a good opportunity to journal
Because it helps me to VENT
Because ...

Why do I always look at motives? Why can't I just blog to blog? Right???

Writing and words are very important to me. If I have a vice in life, I would say it is books. I could spend a lot of money on books. Life has kept me so busy that reading has been put on the back burner. But nothing can draw me closer to God than a good inspirational book. I love poetry. I love Helen Steiner Rice...(Wow I can hear you all laughing at me now).

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without radios, TV, computers, phones, etc. If I could have been born in another era, I would like to have been born in the late 1800's. I love Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, etc. I love that girls were girls and they loved to read to each other and take long walks and pick wild flowers. And I think I would like to have lived in the prairie. Life was simpler then in some ways. God was most important and people actually read their Bibles. Kids were respectful and knew how to work hard. Maybe I have romanticized this era. I am sure pioneer women had a very hard life. They died young and lost many babies, no indoor plumbing, no electricity...Okay...Maybe I should just be content where I am. Contentment with godliness is great gain...

Benched...

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself" Phillipians 2:3


This week I have felt the need to sit back and watch and wait. What am I waiting on or watching for? I don't know. I feel isolated on purpose. I find myself hiding and retreating. I am reminded of times when my girls have sat on the bench in a softball game even though they have played well and have great attitudes. To be benched is hard for them. I have always encouraged them that others need to play as well. Sometimes, we have to just step aside and let the other player become confident. Well, that is sort of how I am feeling right now...BENCHED. So I wait...and I rest...and I trust...It is hard to take a break in the game when you are used to being an ACTIVE part of the team. And the devil loves to play head games with you. BUT I will trust in God.

I am waiting...waiting on you Lord and I am hopeful...

Tonight in church I was so emotional. I don't even know why. I heard someone mention a pray request and the next thing you know my eyes are leaking. Pastor Jamie was talking about "love". This whole "love" thing is going deep inside of me. You would have thought that I would have gotten it long before. But this journey has proven to me that this love is deeper and wider than I can put my thoughts around.

Thankful Thursday

I am so thankful for...

My husband who is steady, dependable, funny, patient and kind. Who cares if he plays his video games too much. Everyone needs a break from all the estrogen in our house. Poor Man!

Alicia the Ace student, worker, wife, and daughter. Thank you Lord that she is steady like her daddy and gentle and kind and intelligent like her mother...LOL. Just kidding. But she is all those things.

Sara the Sparkler who is bubbly, cheerful and fun-loving and who is becoming a mature young lady. I am thankful God that you have brought us through hard times and will continue to help us grow together.

Katie the Kitten who is sweet as a kitten but can roar like a lion. Thank you Lord for her strong determination, her strong opinions (even if they frustrate me sometimes...wonder where she got that stubborness) and her beautiful smile.

Lord, I Ask, Seek and Knock on behalf of these girls.

I am thankful for a full life. Full of wonderful friends & family.

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve you in whatever capacity you call me to. whether it is cleaning toilets or praying with the girls at Heart Connection or laughing and singing with the kids in Children's church which by the way...I love those kids. They are so full of life. And each one is so different. Some are quiet, some are loud, some are sweet, some not so sweet but they are ALL yours God.

I am thankful for strong Pastors who love you, Lord. Not perfect pastors...But strong, passionate, leaders who want to do things your way even when they fall short sometimes.

And Lastly but most importantly, Lord, I am grateful for YOU. I am grateful you took me out of a miry pit and put my feet on the solid foundation of Christ Jesus...on Jesus Christ the solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand. Thank you for paying my debt on Calvary.

In your Grip of Grace,
Dorothy...

He can make the lame WALK

God this journey we are on together is full of well...how do I say it...full of frustrations. But God you did it again. Just when I think I can't do it anymore, you ALWAYS come through. Thank you for helping me to reach out once again and not allowing me to give up because you NEVER give up on me. You are patient and loving. You are a Good Shepherd. I can not LOVE people the way you LOVE them. I want to...But the GREAT BIG YOU living inside of me gives me everything I need to overcome. "Greater is HE that lives in me than he that lives in this world". I will not give up. I will move forward with YOU. "I press on toward the goal of the upward calling of God in Christ Jesus". Onward and Upward to the High Places.

I don't want to be so easily distracted by these circumstances but that requires me to spend a lot more time with you. You took care of each situation today one by one as I presented them to you. You nudged me when I did not want to do what you were leading me to do. Thank you for the nudge and thank you for helping me to be brave. Give me hinds feet to the High Places...I don't want crippled feet anymore. You can make the lame walk...

LOVE NO MATTER WHAT

So today I tried to reach out to a friend through FaceBook to let them know they were in my thoughts and prayers over a tragedy that happened in their family only to find out that I am no longer her friend on FB. All I could do was cry...Sometimes you just can't make things right. No matter how hard you try and no matter how much you pray, it just does not get fixed. So Lord, I put it back at your feet once again and ask you once again to help me to LOVE. No matter what. No matter how hard. My flesh cries out that it is not fair...But what good does that do. My heart cries out for justice, my mind wants to fight the battle MY way. I want to defend myself and I want to SPEW it all out and not care what anyone thinks or even what you think, God. BUT once again...I am called to LOVE. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not demand its own way...Wow, God this stuff is HARD. I think you might have to do this through me, I don't have it in me anymore. I HURT!!!

Life is but a vapor

Heard of a death of a young man yesterday. Early death...early 20's... I wonder where is he now. Where did he go? What is he doing right now? Did he know you Lord? Did he reject you during his lifetime? Did he think he had "plenty of time for YOU later"? Then I wonder...How is his family? Do they have any peace despite their loss? Do they know you, Lord? Do they want to know you? Or are they just angry at YOU but never serve YOU?

Lord, I want to serve you ALL the days of my life. I don't want my loved ones to wonder where I am when I leave here. I want them to have peace even in their grief. It would be the best gift I could leave them. I pray my family makes a decision to live for you God. If they left this earth unsure of their relationship with YOU, I would be devastated.

Lord, give this family peace tonight, comfort them, and help them to RUN to YOU not run away from you.

THANKFUL THURSDAY

My dear friend, Shay, celebrates "Thankful Thursday" and so with her permission, I think I will join her.

Person I am thankful for today - Shay - she has helped me so much with my computer skills and has been so patient with my old age...okay...middle age. That seniors ' citizens discount was just a fluke...right? Also, Shay has been such a blessing to watch grow in the Lord...ups and downs...she is growing. I am excited to see God's plan fulfilled in her life.

Words I am thankful for today - "Mom, we have become friends"... My grown daughter, Alicia. Thank you God for your faithfulness to me and my family. Thank you for a daughter who is seeking you. Thank you that you have loved her freely no matter what. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Prodigals do come HOME!!!

Steps I am thankful I took today in this journey - Had to make a hard decision today but I feel like the decision was made by faith and not by fear. Thank you God for guiding in that decision. Parenting is so difficult. I want to do it "right" but who knows what "right " looks like exactly. Should they go, should they stay home. Should I shelter them, should I let them go. It is hard not to be double-minded. But we walk by faith and NOT by sight. I trust you God to protect and draw my kids to you by your Holy Spirit, and I trust you will cover all my mistakes with your love.

Mrs. Duggar

I am watching the TV show 18 And Counting, and I am constantly amazed at the sweetness of this family. They are genuinely kind to each other. Mrs. Duggar is so sweet to everyone and you can tell she would not have an unkind word to say of anyone. I want be like that. Good Shepherd please make me sweet.

My Protector

Tonight I am reflecting on the protection God provides us each day. Do we even recognize his hand at work in our lives? Do we even know how many times a day he has kept us safe from harm and danger? Our times are in HIS hands. He knows the day we will leave this earth to be with HIM. Thank you God for your protection. Thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you for your ever abiding presence. Thank you that you are near even when we don't FEEL like you are.