Christmas Lights In a Dark House...

I was reading status updates tonight and saw this post "Christmas Lights in a Dark House bring such peace". I LOVE THAT...There is nothing better than putting up the Christmas Tree and shutting off all the lights at night and just letting the tree light up the room. The manger was a very dark and cold place and God sent Jesus to light and warm that dreary place. He became the Light of the World. Thank you God for Jesus. Help me to remember HIM when I light up the tree each night.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful time of family events...many, many, laughs and memories. I was especially glad to see that all three of my girls had fallen asleep in the same bed after many long hours of talking. I love that they LOVE each other. It was good to see the James Island Christmas lights through a child's eyes again...roasting marshmallows...riding the carousel and the train and watching a little girl tell Santa what she wanted for Christmas. She chatted with him quite awhile and then just before she got off his lap, she hugged him real tight!!! She was so sincere as she chatted with him. I hope she gets all she asked for.

The Christmas Play Anxiety is trying to creep into my senses...I keep pushing it down!!! I want to remember that it ALWAYS comes together no matter what. There are more important things going on during Christmas play practice than whether or not it comes together perfectly...like hugging that little boy whose parents are divorcing and he is torn between homes...like discovering that telescope girl LOVES AND SINGS well and encouraging her to sing with all her heart...like one of the angels giving up her part so someone could be an angel who really wanted to be...like seeing the camel LOVE his two humps...REALLY ISN'T THAT ALL THAT MATTERS???? Really!!! Keep focused Dot!!! Remember that God's plans are not mine plans. Remember to show them the light that shone in the dark, cold place of the manger...

But in fact God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them just has he wanted them to be. If they were all one part where would the body be. As it is, there is many parts, but one body 1 Cor. 12: 18-20


Okay...So here we go. A new post and I am not sure what I will say...But I figure I will type and pray God brings it. I have been thinking lately how much I COULD be doing for God if I did not have a job. I have been frustrated and bored with my work. Don't get me wrong. I am not honestly discontent. If God leaves me there, there is where I will stay. BUT...If God would remember His benched servant, I would be happy to do whatever HE calls me to do. I read on someone's post recently that serving God is so much FUN!! AND IT IS!!!

I have gotten so much joy out of being a small part of HIS GIANT PLANS for the girls in my home and my church. I GET to be a part. I GET to watch kids for them, deliver a meal to them , pray for them, talk to them until late at night, laugh with them and worry for them (secretly, I try not to let them know that I worry...BUT I do). I have had to learn to cast my cares upon God for HE cares for me. His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

I have read the testimonies of so many girls and each time I get a lump in my throat knowing that they have been through SO much. It always makes me sad...those are the times I have to go to God the most. And most of the time, all I can do is cry and sit at HIS feet. Words don't come...Just tears. I know how important it is for these girls to get these awful things out and I always pray God will help me to be strong for them. God is so faithful to let me sit and cry.

BUT...God has brought these girls out of Egypt, and through the valley of shadow of death!!!! AND THEY LOVE HIM!!! And HE has put such BIG DREAMS in their hearts...And BIG GIFTS He wants to use for HIS Kingdom.

Lord, Can I just say I LOVE THAT YOU LET ME BE A PART OF YOUR KINGDOM AND YOUR PLANS!!!! If you asked me to clean toilets, I would do it. And I would smile that you ALLOWED me to. I remember the first time I got to vacuum the sanctuary and I felt so undeserving to even do that menial task...BUT GOD YOU LET ME DO IT. I did not deserve your grace then and I still don't. Thank you for loving me God and never giving up on me. .

In Your Grip of Grace,
Your Benched Servant

Who is the Potter in my life?

Today, I spent time with a difficult family member. Ever spend time with someone that just makes you feel like a complete failure? It is just never good enough? Well that was my morning. God was faithful to me. He just kept cautioning me not to take the bait. Don't let it get under my skin. Don't lash out. Don't defend yourself. Trust Him and Let Him do it. Love unconditionally. Now don't get me wrong. I am FAR from perfect and maybe they have some really valid points. But it feels more like they want to mold me rather than allow God to mold me.

So God here I am once again...And I ask you to be MY Potter and remind me that I am the clay in YOUR hands. I belong to you. I follow your lead. I trust YOU to make me in your image.

What is the purpose of a blog anyway?

So each time I think about what to blog, I think Why? Here are some of my thoughts...

I blog...

Because everyone else does
Because I want to sound wise and important
Because it is a good opportunity to journal
Because it helps me to VENT
Because ...

Why do I always look at motives? Why can't I just blog to blog? Right???

Writing and words are very important to me. If I have a vice in life, I would say it is books. I could spend a lot of money on books. Life has kept me so busy that reading has been put on the back burner. But nothing can draw me closer to God than a good inspirational book. I love poetry. I love Helen Steiner Rice...(Wow I can hear you all laughing at me now).

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without radios, TV, computers, phones, etc. If I could have been born in another era, I would like to have been born in the late 1800's. I love Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, etc. I love that girls were girls and they loved to read to each other and take long walks and pick wild flowers. And I think I would like to have lived in the prairie. Life was simpler then in some ways. God was most important and people actually read their Bibles. Kids were respectful and knew how to work hard. Maybe I have romanticized this era. I am sure pioneer women had a very hard life. They died young and lost many babies, no indoor plumbing, no electricity...Okay...Maybe I should just be content where I am. Contentment with godliness is great gain...

Benched...

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself" Phillipians 2:3


This week I have felt the need to sit back and watch and wait. What am I waiting on or watching for? I don't know. I feel isolated on purpose. I find myself hiding and retreating. I am reminded of times when my girls have sat on the bench in a softball game even though they have played well and have great attitudes. To be benched is hard for them. I have always encouraged them that others need to play as well. Sometimes, we have to just step aside and let the other player become confident. Well, that is sort of how I am feeling right now...BENCHED. So I wait...and I rest...and I trust...It is hard to take a break in the game when you are used to being an ACTIVE part of the team. And the devil loves to play head games with you. BUT I will trust in God.

I am waiting...waiting on you Lord and I am hopeful...

Tonight in church I was so emotional. I don't even know why. I heard someone mention a pray request and the next thing you know my eyes are leaking. Pastor Jamie was talking about "love". This whole "love" thing is going deep inside of me. You would have thought that I would have gotten it long before. But this journey has proven to me that this love is deeper and wider than I can put my thoughts around.