Sandy Black was the most amazing person who has ever come into my life except for Jesus. When I was in high school, I had two brothers who were mentally challenged. We all know how kids can be and kids back then were the same...CRUEL. The constant taunting and beating up of my brothers made me a very angry person. We did not fit in...We were the family with two "retarded" kids. I don't use the word "retarded" lightly. It was considered a cuss word in our house. It is definitely a word that got soap put in our mouths. And to make matters worse, we were poor.
Friends in school were hard to find...but along came this girl with the best personality, greatest sense of humor and she was beautiful, and she decided to sit with ME every day at lunch. I never had lunch money or lunch to eat and every day she gave me the best item in her lunch pail. We became fast friends.. We sat together everyday in different classes because we had to sit alphabetically...Sandy Black...Dot Carson...even French class...our names in french were Simone and Dorothea...
Thank you Jesus for giving us the last names we had so we could sit together.
Sandy was nominated for the homecoming court and she wore a beautiful pink dress but she was the goofy girl. I remember thinking how much she deserved to be on that court. I was so proud of her. She was popular and she chose to hang out with ME. She had her first and only boyfriend and we talked about whether or not she should kiss him....For the life of me I can't remember his name...Bob I think. She liked him alot and they were a great couple. (I wonder if he thinks of her from time to time...) And she was my BEST friend. Life was good. I finally belonged. I finally felt accepted. I had someone to laugh with and cry with and do stupid french skits with...We were two peas in a pod!!! School no longer was so painful. In fact, it was pretty good. I really was okay...I really was valuable...
One day we went ice skating with our French class. I was a terrible skater and Sandy was trying to keep me on my feet and I fell on her. She never came back to school after that day. Her hip hurt her and she could not walk on it. Week after week, she did not come to school. I missed her terribly. Then I found out she had been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer in her HIP. Now stage 4 meant nothing to me....I did not know that we were talking about something she was dying from. I felt for many years that I was responsible for her illness. The doctors said that the cancer had been laying dormant and the fall brought things to the surface...UGH...I hate ice skating!!!
Well..it was okay...I knew the doctors could fix her...So the process of healing began. One day my mom drove me to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital about 90 minutes away to visit Sandy during on of her chemo and radiation treatments. I was excited to see her and catch her up on school stuff and to just sit with her. I was so unprepared for what I saw....She was about 80 pounds, and writhing and crying out in pain. She did not even see us come into the room. The doctors sent us out and we never returned. We drove home and I was once again shook but I just knew everything would be okay. I just knew that she could and would get better.
Eventually she came home from the hospital and her mom planned a Sweet 16 birthday party for her. We all arrived to find her so thin...I was mad at her...Really mad at her. Why didn't she just eat and get better? Eat Sandy Eat!!! For my sake...EAT!!! She was sitting up though and smiling and wearing a crazy wig. I tried not to mention it and all of sudden she just took it off and scratched her head and we all laughed. She was so full of life and laughter. It was a great day! See I knew she would get better, she just needed to laugh a little and EAT!!! She would be back to school soon and I would not be sitting alone anymore. That was My plan anyway...
Shortly after her 16th birthday, I came home from my job at McDonald's and my little 8 year old sister said...
"Hey Dot, Sandy Black died today."
What?????????????????????? WHAT?????????????
No she didn't...stop acting stupid................................
Oh my God....she is dead???
I ran into my house to find my mom crying...It was true!
Why am I writing this? Because I owe it to Sandy to tell you that my BEST FRIEND was the most amazing person in the whole world. In her short l6 years of life, she inspired me to LOVE PEOPLE!!!! She taught me to feed the poor...to treat everyone with dignity and to smile when the chips are down; to put others first and to make lemonade out of lemons. I can't ever remember a time she asked...why me? And maybe she did but I can't remember it.
Sandy's mom was so angry at God for years. Who wouldn't be? You see Sandy's dad had died of cancer before Sandy died. I just want to hug her mom and tell her Sandy's life was not a waste. It mattered!!! She is an inspiration to me daily. There is not a month that goes by that Sandy does not enter my thoughts. Please Mrs. Black know...SHE MATTERED!!!
Oh my dear friend Sandy...I MISS YOU SO MUCH...EVEN NOW. I wish we were raising our kids together!!!
My hope is one day we will both dance in heaven together.
And for those of you who read this blog....thank you for letting me share my friend with you. I am sorry you never got to meet her. When you get to heaven, please ask for her...You won't be disappointed, she will be the one dancing!!!
